Today

"Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement."
-Charles M. Schultz

The World is large, there are many things happening today, here are a few.


A balding man looks at his receding hairline and that stresses him out, and then it recedes a little more.

An intelligent rock star watches Jeopardy really loud, then whales out answers like; “What is the eukaryotic cell!”

Paul Newman’s wife begins work on a brand of lettuce, so that they can be together forever.

A soccer player plays baseball with his feet, to practice his foot work, and to show off.

A man grows an ironic moustache, then realizes it makes his upper lip look much better, it no longer is ironic.

A pair of friends realize that tic tac toe is a stupid game.

A leaf wonders what it can do with it’s veins, so it injects heroin, then it doesn’t feel so flat.

A boy makes fun of David Blaine, then disappears forever.

A chess master’s wife leaves him for treating her like a pawn. He silently shakes his head, she doesn’t realize that the pawn’s the most important piece.

A tree gets jealous when a hippie hugs a human.

A boy whistles to a bird outside his window, it starts talking gibberish back to him.

A woman moves to a square town and becomes a real estate mogul. She thanks Monopoly for her success.

An ambitious young filmmaker makes a film about a puzzle champion that can’t put his life back together. It’s almost as good as Garden State.