Monday, September 1, 2008

23

As I prepare to turn twenty-three years of age, I can think of only one man, number 23, Michael Jordan. It seemed only right that I create a mash-up version of our Wikipedia biography to highlight our similarities and achievements. Wikipedia has rejected it, and if you're interested in righting this wrong, I'll be sending out a petition, which also denounces Barack Obama as a legitimate candidate for president.

Michael Jeffrey Jordan (born February 17, 1963) is a retired American professional basketball player and active businessman. Thomas Dean Henry (born September 3, 1985) is a young man and is active in some ways in a relative sort of way. Both men have three first names as many substitute teachers have quipped. Jordan’s biography on the National Basketball Association (NBA) website states, "By acclamation, Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all time."[1] Henry, also by acclamation is “mediocre at an above average amount of things.” Jordan was one of the most effectively marketed athletes of his generation, and was instrumental in popularizing the NBA around the world in the 1980s and 1990s. Henry enjoys thinking about the world and is a proud member of his generation. He often has been known to think; “What is this all about?”
After a stand-out career at the University of North Carolina, Jordan joined the NBA's Chicago Bulls in 1984. He quickly emerged as one of the stars of the league, entertaining crowds with his prolific scoring. After having a class chic named after him in grade two, Henry often wore a pair of Chicago Bulls sweat pants and was pretty good at spelling. Jordan’s leaping ability, illustrated by performing slam dunks from the free throw line at Slam Dunk Contests, earned him the nicknames "Air Jordan" and "His Airness". By virtue that his name starts with a T, Henry has earned the nicknames “T” and “T-Bone”, he likes to call himself “Big Guy” (endearingly). Jordan also gained a reputation as one of the best defensive players in basketball. In 1991, he won his first NBA championship with the Bulls, and followed that achievement with titles in 1992 and 1993, securing a "three-peat". Henry likes beef patties. Though Jordan abruptly left the NBA at the beginning of the 1993-94 NBA season to pursue a career in baseball, he rejoined the Bulls in 1995 and led them to three additional championships (1996, 1997, and 1998) as well as an NBA-record 72 regular-season wins in the 1995–96 season. Jordan retired for a second time in 1999, but he returned for two more NBA seasons in 2001 as a member of the Washington Wizards. Henry once returned to a high school he had left, but they told him he was in too many different grades at once. They could not accommodate him, he cried on the way home. He’d like to tell ms. Dewich that maybe she ate too many cakes at once.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Paddy Cake - Paddy Cake - Paddy King.

aaronschwartz said...

A "must read"! A compilation of startlingly inter-related facts, bringing fresh insight into the lives of these two men. Coincidence? I think not.

Sugarduk said...

This story is full of Bulls and Air. Also much hilarity not to mention clever substitoot teachers and really excellent spelling. These are BDay musings extraordinaire, also Jordan Air (or Air Jordan as the case may be). I will def sign your wiki-petition and will continue reading this blog and all your wiki entries as long as you keep telling it like it is. This is the creme de la creme de les blogs!

Nahhh (Earrl) Son! said...

Dear Tom Henry: His Blog,

Happy Birthday, you've made it a full 10 days as an online publication.

Today I reflected on the great memories we've had since your birth. There were five to be exact.

Here's to another great Daycade, and approximately five more memories.
-nmce

twiggy said...

word. please make 5 more posts in the next gaycade... i mean daycade, my bad.

Ben Dugas said...

Nice one "big guy!"
I've heard that MJ's year playing baseball was actually an under the table suspension from the NBA for gambling shenanigans...
Has anything like that ever happened to you?

Sugarduk said...

I also want to know if you have any parallel activity to the rumoured gambling suspension. BTW, my Word Verification for today is: fdodyqp which I translate to mean: food quip. Do you have any food quips? O yeah, the soup video qualifies. Also the cupcakes.