Friday, September 26, 2008

Today

"Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement."
-Charles M. Schultz

The World is large, there are many things happening today, here are a few.


A balding man looks at his receding hairline and that stresses him out, and then it recedes a little more.

An intelligent rock star watches Jeopardy really loud, then whales out answers like; “What is the eukaryotic cell!”

Paul Newman’s wife begins work on a brand of lettuce, so that they can be together forever.

A soccer player plays baseball with his feet, to practice his foot work, and to show off.

A man grows an ironic moustache, then realizes it makes his upper lip look much better, it no longer is ironic.

A pair of friends realize that tic tac toe is a stupid game.

A leaf wonders what it can do with it’s veins, so it injects heroin, then it doesn’t feel so flat.

A boy makes fun of David Blaine, then disappears forever.

A chess master’s wife leaves him for treating her like a pawn. He silently shakes his head, she doesn’t realize that the pawn’s the most important piece.

A tree gets jealous when a hippie hugs a human.

A boy whistles to a bird outside his window, it starts talking gibberish back to him.

A woman moves to a square town and becomes a real estate mogul. She thanks Monopoly for her success.

An ambitious young filmmaker makes a film about a puzzle champion that can’t put his life back together. It’s almost as good as Garden State.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Now THIS is the kind of fast-breaking news we should be shoving down the infopipes !

twiggy said...

each one like a cupcake. thanks old man.

tom henry said...

Old man? Whaaaaat?!

Sugarduk said...

Jealous trees and ironic moustaches! Ha! You are a very astute and comical young man! But speaking of old men, that's a timely (and hilarious) newsflash/cupcake re Joanne Woodward and her husband: Paul Newman died last night (he was 83). RIP.

twiggy said...

not tryin to be a smartass, just saying you're wise - old man.

Anonymous said...

I herdju gone down east ere, boy, an I hopes you write sumpn here on da blawg s'more here fer us afore youse gets locked in by da noreasters dere.

twiggy said...

Blog you fucker. You gotta have some food for thought while on those 8 hour car drives, na'mean?

Screeching 4Eva.

NMCE said...

Dear Tom,
I hope this comment finds you well.

I don't know how to say this.. but I've started reading other blogs. Your absence made it clear that you no longer wanted to be my browsers homepage.

I hope we can still be friends (on facebook).

Long time reader, first time complainer,

Noah Earle.