Monday, October 20, 2008

Hanks' & Fruit Juice

   Tom Hanks, America's favourite son, has been drinking plenty of fruit juice as he stays in the race for the White House. His actions are an immediate reaction to a new German study examining the complex relationship between fruit and man. When he heard of the study Hanks acted fast, hiring celebrity chef Bobby Flay as his personal juice coach. His biggest challenge, Flay admits has been getting him off his morning orange juice. Hanks admits to his love of the sweet Florida treat; "You can move me to a pear or guava for lunch, but I won't start the day without a tall g. of o.j."
   Once known for his blistering good looks Hanks admits he's shifted focuses; "I'd like to live forever, and if there's anything to Dr. Kleinhen's work on the taste paradox, I'd like to be in on the ground floor." Hanks admits to an alterior motive; "I'd really like my son, Colin Hanks to be as seasoned an actor as I, before I share a film screen with him, that could take a while." Hanks goes on; "Colin doesn't like fruit juice so I've been spraying it around his mouth with a super soaker, he knows I'm his dad, and if I could give him all the talent in the world, I would."
   Colin admits his father is a tough critic; "When my dad, Tom Hanks, started on to this fruit juice thing, I knew there probably was something to it, he's an actor like I'm trying to be, and I respect that. I'm just a lot more in to things like soda. I'm a kid, I like soda and potato chips." Hanks (Colin) admits when matriarchal figure and fellow actor Rita Wilson stepped in, he was intrigued. "She had been making smoothies on her new blender, and one day she walked in to the room and said look, what if we threw some fruit juice in with your favourite soda?" Colin admits he wasn't so sure; "I definitely had a good laugh, I said Rita (step-mom), I would never hear the end of it if my friends found fruit juice in my soda!"
   Tom Hanks fought back tears as he weighed in with one final admission; "Colin's a kid and we love him, but I wish he'd take acting a little more seriously. No one knows what awaits us in the great beyond, but will there be acting? This may be your one chance to act son, and I'd like you to put aye and bee together, make sure you spell the words A and B please."

Tom with first love Mimi Rogers

Tom and Colin sport scarves


Sugarduk said...

Taste paradox, Bobby Flay, attractive scarves, this post has everything! Runs the gamut from aye to bee and back again. Brilliant blogging.

tom henry said...

They are nice scarves

Anonymous said...

I love them both; tom was the star of my fave movie 'Big' and colin of my fave tv show 'Roswell'. More of them together could only be better and I can't wait to see da great buck Howard to see them play father and son.

tom henry said...

BIg is a classic for sure. I didn't realize they were actually starring in a film together but I do enjoy you're use of the word da in place of the. Thanks for reading anonymous.

marie said...

Philadelphia is da best.

Big Handsome Dave said...

Each Sunday, before I open the New York Times, I check out your blog Mr Henry.
Since 1994, I have been deeply troubled, perhaps you can set me straight.
Pulp Fiction lost out to that movie that Tom stared in for best picture. I don't even remember the name. Did I get it so wrong?
Keep up the great work.

tom henry said...

Have you been troubled since '94 in general, or just about the defeat of Pulp Fiction? Are you Quentin Tarantino? Dear Mr. Tarantino, if it makes you feel any better, I didn't much like Forest Gump either. I much prefer a movie with the same sorta idea; Zelig by Woody Allen. I'm truly honoured to be read by the king of making movies that are like other older movies, and to have anything to do with a ritual involving Sundays and things from New York. Thanks very much.

twiggy said...

^ ^
| |

Dear TH blog subscribers,

please see above for an extracurricular post
that never made it to main page.

even your comment section is funny you bum.

My Family said...

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