2008 YEAR IN REVIEW

Why are you so serious?

2008 was a wild and wooly one. Proud parents all over the globe made '08 the year of the parent and kids proclaimed; we don't want no homework no more. Here's a look at the rest of the year.

IMPORTANT THINGS THAT HAPPENED 

Britney Spears Invents Wall-E - It was at her weekly exorcism with Mel Gibson, Britney awoke in a tizzy. She had had one of '08's new phenomenon's; an enviro-nightmare, but this one was different, the robots had fallen in love. Their circuit boards a twitter, the robots would have to find a way to express their fondness through a series of bleeps and other traditional computer sounds, this was to be a love story like no other. Pixar was contacted, the rest is history.

Russel Crowe hits cartoon character - "He was giffin' me off so I snookered him in the crimmit." explained the Australian. Crowe was dismayed though upon news the loveable character was female, "Bloody timbit, I never would've pintered it, had I known 'twas a maimie." 

Rise of the prance party - NYC - Picture a dimly lit club in SOHO, partygoers sweat off the July heat, a frenzy ensues, but there's no dancing. The kids of today are prancing. NY's hottest prance dj, Sleazy Peasant, explains; "The kids want to move but they don't always want to dance. Before you could either not move or dance, or sort of move your arms I guess. Now we prance, we prance to the music." 

"I love that little robot." - Britney

MOVIES

I only watched three films this year (other than Wall-E, which transcends film). They are the best three films.

Iron Man - A movie star played in a superhero film then died of a drug overdose and it wasn't Robert Downey Jr.

Batman - I'm really surprised no one's talking about Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker. when Ledger wins his posthumous Oscar, I propose it be accepted by Jack Nicholson, the real Joker. Here's how his speech would go: "I shaved my goddamn head bald to play a cancer patient and all this dingo riding hop-scotcher had to do was play the same part I played twenty years ago? I'm keeping this. A lot of that hair ain't coming back you know."

Twilight - In a year that was bloated with the overhyping of global warming, full blown pop culture phenomenon Twilight sent an important political message about the dangers of iron deficient teenagers. We need to get moving on this one Mr. Obama.

TELEVISION

I kept meaning to watch The Hills, but I really want to read the book first.

MUSIC

Album of The Year - 808's & Heartbreak - I was severely touched by Kanye West's homage to his late  mother. The message is clear you dear sweet man, you're too broken up to make tolerable music anymore. Bless your soul.

Also anything by Vampire Weekend, obviously. 

TOM HENRY '08

My personal triumphs and failures

Rocket Science - I thought about becoming an astronaut then quickly decided not to, in hopes of not offending gravity. Gravity is one of the worst enemies to have, gravity and the ghosts of flies.

Beef Patties - The beef patties were being overheated at the corner store this year. 

Music career - With the help of my macbook, I can now record purposely bad but hopefully good music. 

Beef Patty resembling TV's Jay Leno

THINGS TO WATCH FOR IN '09

Greg Kinnear

Thanks a million to everyone who came here in '08. '09's gonna be crazy here on this blog, so stay tuned, and tell your friends (If they're cool).

Yours inevitably, 

Tom (d) Henry