Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Very Short Plays

THE OFFICE PARTY
act 1. scene 1.

EMPLOYEE 1: 
Hey, during this tough economy, it was a great idea to hire this cheap Jack Nicholson impersonator as entertainment.

EMPLOYEE 2:
Thanks, yeah, Christian Slater is doing a great job.



THE MAN WHO ALWAYS GETS ONE LETTER WRONG THUS HIS LIFE RESEMBLES A REALLY BAD COMIC STRIP
act 1. scene 1.

MAN: 
Here's that pigeon wearing lingerie you ordered. 

OTHER MAN:
I said exotic bird!



TWO OBNOXIOUS PEOPLE GREET EACH OTHER
act 1. scene 1.

PERSON 1:
I miss your face!

PERSON 2: 
Where have you been my whole life?!



MIKE TYSON: POST IMPRESSIONIST
act 1. scene 1.

MIKE TYSON:
Here I lie, with all this artistic talent, a tortured artist. I shouldn't have eaten Van Gogh's ear.



FRIEND WHO IS ANNOYING AFTER MIDNIGHT
act 1. scene 1.

BEN:
Ok, so I'll see you tomorrow.

RICH:
Well, technically I'll see you today.



THE TABLE  &  THE COASTER
act 1. scene 1.

TABLE:
My sole purpose is to put things on. Everytime you impose yourself between me and a glass you tell me I can't do my job! (pause) The scars of condensation would be far less painful than what you're putting me through.



THE CLASSICALLY TRAINED ACTOR WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ACTING
act 1. scene 1.

DAISY:
Do you remember daddy's wheat fields back in Nebraska? Remember how they smell on a humid August night? 

GREG:
Hang on, I'm trying to, using the technique of sense memory. Is it time for my soliloquy?



VERY FAT CANNIBAL
act.1 scene 1.

JON:
Hey, I ate that book club sandwich you told me about.

ROOMATE:
That was my book club!

3 comments:

Vargas said...

Tres drole! Tres amusant! (Since I have no words suitable in my own language for how funny these playlets are I will resort to using French.) And...I would like to option THE TABLE & THE COASTER.

Sugarduk said...

Just have to mention that I meet people on the street who tell me they have been reading your blog and laughing themselves silly. They say you are a pro, they say they expect to read you in the newspapers, they say you are brilliant.

Marina said...

you've done it again tom henry, you've done it again.