Monday, November 2, 2009

Another Letter (Involving The Community)

Hi people,

This is another letter to a real life person. I'm gonna (going to) write some stuff other than these letters soon, but for now so what, read another letter, get off my case, take a hill pill (go lay on a hill and calm down).
This one is to a young lady named Kayla, she was kind enough to write me a few sentences. Thanks Kayla. Also, just thought you should know, there's a guy on the Toronto Raptors this year named Sonny Weems, good name right?

Dear Kayla,

These are very interesting. (In regard to the above mentioned sentences) Are they autobiographical book title ideas? Wait, don't answer that, it was just a reason for me to do this:

Here are my autobiographical book title ideas,

I Used Up All My Ambition Learning To Nap

Napping, And A Few Other Things

When Do I Get To Nap Again? Can I At Least Have A Cracker Or Something?

... There's a joke here, it's that I nap alot, funny, right?.

Continuing on, I admire your brave use of font. I'm afraid I don't share your youthful, throw everything to the wind mentality, and so I mustn't stray far from this thing they've named Sans Serif, medium size.

I'm afraid, for you, once one discovers the fun in fonts, one will end up in many extemporaneous conversations with graphic designers. They will refer you to a glut of books and films, unknown to the general population, dealing solely with font. They will tell you all about their love of Wes Anderson, and his use of Futura Bold. They probably also will tell you alot of boring things about an antique coffee maker they bought for their office.

I digress.

I'd now like to divert your attention to the fact that in the previous paragraph I've used a word that I've been wanting to for quite some time, and may have already, then forgot. (Hint: It's not extemporaneous (very poor hint: it is glut.))
If you or anyone can find the word glut in any of my writings, I will present to them a shiny two dollar coin, a shiny two dollar coin I will have to steal.

Other words I'd like to use someday, and probably already have:

Chayenne, Wyoming

Please don't suggest I write a short story involving all these words, I am not a fun guy.

My many thanks to you for enjoying the gift I have unleashed into the world (95% sarcasm, 5% complete seriousness, I'm pretty sure there's some irony in there too, but I still don't really understand that concept.)

Sincerely yours,

Tom (d) Henry

ps. I have been posting these on my blog, not your letter but my response. I know it's slightly uncouth, but I badly need the approval of the four other strangers reading. Please kindly still regard this as a personal correspondence, and not a meager attempt on my behalf to generate material.


Anonymous said...

GLUT is such a royally fantastic word. I will now use it and hope it's as good as your usage: You have no glut of funny bones in your comedic skeleton.

stranger#3 said...

I approve. Wholeheartedly.

Vargas said...

I am no stranger to the tomes and times of Tom (d) Henry. Yet I also give three thumbs up to his latest belle lettre. The Vargas stamp of approval is stamped right here but it's invisible.