Saturday, October 10, 2009

The Dumb Poet

What kind of guy would talk about wanting to update his blog more and then not do it for five days? This guy, that's who.

Here are some things I heard this one dumb poet saying.

"This sunset is so boring."

"I like vests so much, I scissor all my clothes up the middle."

"What's a adjective, babe?"

"This poem I wrote would be way better without all these words."

"I wish I could impress people by being angry about a lot of different things."

"Would the show Curb Your Enthusiasm be a good thing to write a poem about?"

"Can I go eat toast instead of doing this?"

"Poetic license? Shit, I just hope this place has a poetic liqour license."

~Some Dumb Poems~

My Sugar Man

"You're my sugar man." I said.

"I'm not sure what you mean." he said.

"You give me sugar." I said.

"Ok, no sorry." he said.

"You don't sell me candy?" I said.

"No." He said.

"Oh, I thought you were the guy from my corner store." I said.

"I'm not." He said.

"Sorry" I said, "I'm blind - from diabetes."

Uncle Swift Poppy

Dear Uncle Swift Poppy,

We always liked your name.

Dear Uncle Swift Poppy,

You brought our family shame.

Please change your name back to Swift Poppy,

We don't like you as Dennis Quaid.

-by Dennis Quaid's neice

My Hubris

What you said about my hubris, what did that mean?

I don't know that word.

Forget it.

I'm smarter than you anyway,

and better in most ways.

The Cheap Alcohol Society

The cheap alcohol society wants to get drunk for cheap.

We also want to meet new people.

If the new people are drunk,

we might try to kiss them.

If they're not,

we'll just try to drink for cheap.

The cheap alcohol society just wants to kiss drunk people.


Vargas said...

My friend Catharine Amato left this message under my FB promo of your blog: "Please tell Tom Henry that I am a great fan but can never manage to leave comments on his blog for some reason!!" Many people are in this same boat: the fans-who-don't-or-can't-or-won't-comment dinghy. Me, I'm sailing along in my comment yacht...and clearly it's time to stop pushing that particular nautical metaphor.

Thanks for the great dumb poetry.

Anonymous said...

Is Uncle Swift Poppy related to Penny Bright in any way?