Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Syllogisms

Sleep is the cousin of death.
Being awake is the cousin of life.
Being awake is life.
Life is it's own cousin.

therefore Existence is inbred.



They say geniuses pick green
All Nosepickers pick green

therefore All nosepickers are geniuses.
(Until they pick too far, thus picking red.)



Only way I'm interested in your dream: It's about me.
"You were you but you weren't you.": only sort of about me.
Amount dream must be about me: More than sort of.

therefore I don't care about your dream.



The Japanese are very efficient.
Computers are very efficient.

therefore Yuppies eating computer food, dying. World peace achieved. Feist record sales drop.



Vegetarians love animals so they don't eat them.
Vegetarians love vegetables so they eat them.
Vegetarians are confused about love.

therefore Vegetarians' children live in constant fear.
(Attempt to stay away from lentils.)






Portuguese prime minister Jose Socrates is a mortal man

7 comments:

Vargas said...

this is much too funny

therefore I laugh

a lot

Anonymous said...

I pick my nose.

Anonymous said...

I do everything possible to avoid sores. Your blog helps.

twiggy said...

my dad says you better change 'imbred' to 'inbred.'

i say buy a dictionary you fuck.

tom henry said...

busted.

Anonymous said...

And while we're bustin you here, do all geniuses pick green? C'mon. What's that, all CNN info? We're takin you down dude - faulty factx.

Anonymous said...

i thought this was awesome. very funny and sharp :)