Thursday, April 2, 2009

F. Scott Fitzgerald

As anyone who reads this blog knows I have something of a penchant for correspondence. Recently, I've been reading the collected letters of F. Scott Fitzgerald.  The letters of this great American master range from heartbreaking realizations to his former love Zelda, to talking shop with Ernest Hemingway. There were a few letters however that I found a little odd. Here they are.

1403 North Laurel Avenue
Hollywood, California
August 24, 1940

Dear Candy Store,
How many times must I tell you to leave out the yellow jube jubes from the jube jube bin? Have you any idea who I am? 

F. Scott Fitzgerald

1307 Park Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
May 11, 1935

Dear Friend
Have I made a terrible mistake by going by F.? It's just struck me that it's not so much a name but a letter. Whilst travelling easterly by air, I was going through the alphabet and realized that most men have chosen as many as six or seven of these letters arranged in different interesting ways. 

F? Scott Fitzgerald

14 Rue de Tilsett
Paris, France
August 13, 1925

Dear Reviewer, 
In your review of my book, you quipped that The Great Gatsby, should merely have been called The Good Gatsby. I am writing to inform you that I have changed the title of the book to The Much Greater and Better than you, the reviewer to whom I'm writing this letter, Gatsby. Be warned I am not bluffing. My appetite for revenge burns deep within me (copyright).

F. Scott Fitzgerald

5521 Amestoy Avenue
Encino, California
April 11, 1940

Dear Editor, 
I feel not like writing anymore. Do you think anyone would mind terribly if we adapted the Archie comics in to a novel?  Do you reckon this Jughead fellow could pass as a Yale man? 

F. Scott Fitzgerald

The Garden of Allah Hotel
Hollywood, California
February 22, 1938

Dear future president Harry S. Truman, 
Good sir, I have great respect for your name, but might you consider changing it slightly to S. Harry Truman? This I believe will be much more becoming; however, you must always be sure to utilize the period after the S or else I'm afraid your name may resemble that of a ladies, a price this country can ill afford.

F. Scott Fitzgerald


Vargas said...

My partner and I agree that this is the best writing we've seen since This Side of Paradise (and that is some truly great writing). But with way more laughs, like waaaay more.

Funniest letter among this plethora of funny letters is the letter about the letter F. Subtle laugh-out-loud high comedy with low comedy undertones (overtones?).

But they're all hysterical. My personal favourite is: "The Much Greater and Better than you, the reviewer to whom I'm writing this letter, Gatsby."

In a similar vein, reviewers would likely have called the films made of The Great Gatsby "The Miscast Gatsby". To add to the alleged miscastings I would like to suggest Marlon Brando play Jay Gatsby in the next remake - yes, even from the grave.

And this, aside from being moderately amusing - think of it: Marlon mumbling: Why not, Old Sport? - is really just a plug for my own current blog post. But enough about Marlon and moi.

Dear F or whoever really penned these bon mots (TH?): I doff my cloche to you, Old Sport.

Jennifer said...

Dear Tom Henry ,
I have some letters and general correspondence that needs doing thought i should enlist you,
gratefully yrs

Anonymous said...

"Genius is the ability to put into effect what is on your mind." - F.Scott Fitzgerald.

"Real genius is the ability to put into a hat what is on your head." - F. Spud Clochedoffer.