Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The Man Who Sold The World

Man: Hey, you wanna buy the world? 

Other man: How much does it cost?

Man: Not very much.

Other man: What's wrong with it?

Man: Nothing, it's fine, I just don't want it anymore. 

Other man: Is there much ugliness there? 

Man: No, not really. Sometimes people  spit out their gum and other people step in it. That's about it.

Other man: Any wars? 

Man: Not that I know of. Every now and then people argue about, you know, the normal stuff... like people chewing gum too loudly, that kind of thing.

Other man: So, no famine, misery, death?

Man: Look, I'm gonna level with you, we have a major gum problem.

Other man: Well that doesn't sound too serious.

Man: So you'll buy it? 

Other man: The world? Yes.

Man: That'll be forty dollars.

Kurt Cobain & David Bowie play Monopoly


d.n. said...

so good

Georgia said...

amazing. gum problem, yes.

Vargas said...


Ziggy played monopoly, he played with his left hand...

and Kurt sold the world for a stick of Wrigley's spearmint.

Invaluable interview re the wholesale sale of the whole gum-riddled world...

and that sketch is worth more than the world and all it's Double Bubble put together.

(I hope this piece aids in getting politicians to rethink the whole right to bear gum thing.)

Big Handsome Dave said...

Tom, I have been a part of the problem, always walking around with a mouthful of Extra. It gives me something to do, I'm unemployed. Starting today I am switching over to chewing tobacco, be a part of the solution.
That guy got a pretty good deal for $40, a barrel of light sweet crude is currently going for $43US. and have you priced a bottle of good single malt, out of this world.
I don't need anything as large as the world, or as costly as Scotch Whiskey but if you have any leads as to where I can get a fuel-pump for my 82 Hyundai Pony I'd sure appreciate it. I have been filling in the rusted out areas around the fenders and floorboards with old chewing gum, works great so far.
On an unrelated topic, have you seen, 'Man On Wire'? Do you yourself have an interest in becoming a tight rope walker?
Just Curious
Your Fan
Big Handsome

tom henry said...

Dear Handsome Dave,

It's nice to hear from you again.
As far as your Hyundai Pony goes, I have no knowledge of cars, I do however have fond childhood memories of pony rides at the zoo. So the only suggestion I can give you is when you're driving your car, try to pretend it actually is a smaller than usual horse. This act of role playing may give your car the morale boost it needs to keep running smoothly.
I haven't seen Man on Wire yet. My idea of thrill seeking is sometimes short changing the ttc fifteen cents. When I have a film made about me, it will be called Man on Sidewalk, and Often Bed.


Jeffrey said...

Hahaha! That was funny! First, I thought it's about dental illness or something. First thing that came to my mind was my dentist in Greenville. It was a long search to find that dentist (Greenville SC) of mine. Ah... Anyways, good joke man! Hope to see more of it.