Wednesday, August 27, 2008

An Excerpt

This is an excerpt from my upcoming British psychadelic novel entitled; "Pining In The Sand". It's not being published here, the powers that be thought you wouldn't be able to understand the "Britishisms". If you think it's stupid that's because it is.


-“How ‘bout we boycott boycotts”, said the cleverest boy . “But if we boycott boycotts we can’t boycott boycotts; thus boycotting boycotting boycotts”, said the dumbest boy. The problem lay in what was clearly a very large and ostentatious gap in the two intelligences of the two boys. Then, they both committed suicide, intellectual suicide, and began to float to one place, which at one point was another place, as was the nature of all places. Once there, among the clouds, palm trees and fertile, yet fake growths of things such as grass, they sipped virgin mai tais and regaled one another with most or any thoughts they could remember. They mustered many thoughts, though cloudy, one of which not being the previously remarkable gap in grand intellect, and so bliss was in reach. For once, out of their school uniforms Penny and Bright were just two boys enjoying a cocktail and chatting like English boys should.
“T’was a great number of boys in school last year wasn’t it Penny?”, said Bright. “Well mate, I’ve got to level with you, that’s one thing I certainly can’t remember” “Just as well” said Bright, “Bunch of gits anyway, weren’t they?” “Well, I’m really not sure.” Said Penny. “Just as well, Penny.” And so they sat among the birds and the brush and watched musicals without the sound on, after all they didn’t need it anymore. After a great deal of crackers and the finest graskaas, the boys settled for a nap. Bright lay in the shade of the great palm tree whilst Penny sleep atop the giant plastic leaves. Both were equipped with blankets, yet neither used them as the temperature was as still as Penny whom never moved even one inch while partaking in his regular afternoon naps. At night however, he flailed furiously. Bright knew why this was, but never was willing to say, as was his reputation.


- Pining In The Sand, British Accent Publishing, 2008

4 comments:

Aaron said...

Bleeding hell, set me altogether arse over elbow. Now I fancy a tin of chocolate. Absolutely cracking. Brill.

marie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sugarduk said...

Penny and Bright are Laurel and Hardy in a post Clockwork Orange world. They fascinate me and, if you please, sir, I should like to do the Books on Tape version of their (mis)adventures.

marie said...

What I meant to say was...this Brit-type scribbling is finer than the finest graskaas or any tin of fancy chocolate this side of the Tropic of Capricorn (both the circle of latitude and Henry Miller's novel).